I want you to watch the same video again, but this time with your Sherlock hat on. You’ll see how even in a comedy skit, the typical Indian restaurant was tailored to accommodate racist British attitudes and stereotypes. The restaurant is open late so people can arrive after ‘football games’, tables for large ‘groups of nine’ are readily available – take that Wagamama, and waiters are used to tolerating/caring for abusive, loud and intoxicated diners. The menu offers various spice levels from ‘not very hot’ to ‘f***ing hot’, as a nod to the age-old question ‘what’s the hottest?’ Even the dishes are Westernised – if anyone knows what ‘Bombay Duck’ is, or what part of India the ‘hotdog’ is from, please email me.

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Indian restauranteurs gave British customers the experience they wanted without them realising it, making the nation fall in love with Indian food – even Bezos would be proud of that ingenious business strategy. Put it this way, I’ve waited tables for years and if I took ‘19 starters’ and ‘18 pints’ straight off the bat, I’d win employee of the month …